Hello and welcome to week three of my new series Fabulous Introverts.
Thanks for following along so far and I hope you’re enjoying it? Apologies in advance for the tonne of information I’m including! There’s a lot to cover but it’s all useful in helping you.
What we’ve covered so far:
The intro – This was an introduction into the series, what we’re covering over the remainder of the weeks and a space to leave your thoughts and ideas.
Week 1 – We covered the personality test to find out whether you’re an introvert or not (even though it doesn’t matter if you’re not as you can still follow along!), and what it all means. I break down each letter, as well as the different traits, roles and your ‘strategy’.
Week 2 – This week we covered how to use your positives (and some negatives but I didn’t want to focus too much on those) for your every day life. You may have made notes, and I gave examples from each personality to show you how to adapt each of your personality traits for action.
And here we are – week 3!
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Today we’re going to go through how you can use you new found positives of your personality to improve your confidence. After all, knowing your good points is all well and good, but not putting them into practice seems a waste.
In week 2 we covered your positives quite briefly. This week we’re going to cover them in much more detail.
First, I’m going to use my results as an example, INFJ – T so I can help walk you through it.
The first step is to remind yourself about all of your good qualities from your traits:
- Helping others is my purpose in life, that is not just ideas, but goals set into action
- I make connections with other people very easily (possibly considered extroverted), but still need alone time
- I get caught up in my passions, sometimes to the detriment of my own wellbeing
- My personality means I can make the world a better place (but must consider myself, too)
We’re going to look at how you can build on these right now. This is important, as although they are great qualities, there are negatives to them too. Knowing how you work allows you to understand how you behave better, and improve your confidence in the process.
So here are mine. First, I’ve decided to group the qualities into similar areas as I’ve noticed some of these are quite similar.
Keeping the number of points to a minimum is a good idea. You don’t want to over-commit and get yourself worried/stressed in the process. Let’s keep it simple 🙂
1. I love helping others and want to change the world, but forget about myself in the process.
My confidence is directly affected by how much I can help people and know that I’m doing something good. If you find that you’re the same, the below is something to remember.
The thing is, there is no use you trying to help people when you are ill (mentally or physically, I might add). You may feel fine, but quite often your body is deceptive. There has been many a time when I thought I was fine, to realise I was worrying about a whole bunch of things and I’m emotionally exhausted.
Making time for yourself is VERY important. You might feel like it’s selfish to love/make time for yourself, but it really isn’t. I’m talking whether you have kids or not (as I know personal time is very far and few between!). Even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes (as seen in the viral video of the mum I the toilets haha), this is better than nothing.
Read more on self love here and here.
Once you’ve been able to find time and make time for yourself, you can then start the process of helping other people.
How you do this is up to you. Some examples could include starting your own blog, volunteering, helping a neighbor, etc. whatever idea you think of to spread the love to others doesn’t really matter. The point is that the more you help others as an introvert, the more confident you’ll feel.
2. Making connections with people is a skill of mine, but I do need break from people all of the time.
Here is another example of a positive with it’s own negatives. I LOVE people. But then I also HATE people too and rally have to strike balance in my socializing schedule. To help other people I have to want to help. Wanting to help (for me) comes from also enjoying my own time, too.
So, once I’m ready to face the outside world, I go out there. I call/text friends, message on Facebook, write emails, update the blog. Whatever it is that I know will make a positive difference in someone’s life, this is when I do it.
Sound like you?
Keep up the good work. Enjoy your time with people who make you laugh. Make other people laugh, too. No doubt that even though you may be introverted, you’ve got THE best personality to go along with that. Other people will cherish the time they have with you and that definitely makes a difference too.
You’re bringing a little cheer into the world and people will love you for that.
The key here is to really think outside of the box when it comes to improving your confidence as an introvert. As I said above, analyzing how you work will allow you really ‘get’ yourself. Once you understand you, everything else will fall into place. Following that will come a natural confidence that shines through.
This is all very theoretical but I hope this makes sense. Here are some bits to remember for this week:
- There is no rush – although we’re covering this as part of a series, I’m not expecting you to change and be a different person by the end of this. Please remember that too. We’re here together over this series to also help you embrace your introversion. You are you, and that is the best thing ever.
- Conquer small bits at a time – it’s important to remember (just like my first point) that you shouldn’t overwhelm yourself. Keeping your progress in manageable chunks is the key point here. The more you try and take on at any one time will lead to burn out (and that really isn’t pleasant – trust me). The course of this will include much more info and worksheets to guide you – coming soon).
- You won’t and can’t ever be perfect (and that’s alright) – us humans are always striving to be perfect. You need to remember that whatever you do, you will never be perfect to anyone, let alone yourself. But this is okay too, you know? Accepting who you are brings natural confidence and creates a positive aura around you.
So there we have it. Week 3 is now done!
I hope this has helped you gain a bit of an insight into how I think about my positives and negatives, and how I work on them. It’s definitely a long process and something that just wont change overnight.
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Let me know what you think about all of this and how you help improve your confidence. Does your introversion hold you back?