Modern Day Girl

All About Mental Health Inspiration For Women

Creating Your Own Self-care Toolkit For Your Mental Health

What do you do when things get tough? Where do you turn when the last thing you want to do is take care of yourself? Create a kit of your own with these tips!

As an anxiety sufferer, you may or may not have heard about self-care toolkits (other names include self-care packages, kits, boxes, etc). I’d certainly not heard about them until a few months ago. So what exactly are self-care kits and why should you have one?

A selfcare kit is a location/box/bag where you keep trinkets and items that you can turn to when you need to calm down. It’s like a mini retreat you can escape to when anxiety/stress is getting a bit too much. Imagine escaping to a far away island. That’s what a selfcare kit is there for when you’re struggling.

Personally I think they are a great idea and everyone should have one, anxiety or not. That’s the great thing about selfcare kits, we can all be united in our selfcare mission!

What do you do when things get tough? Where do you turn when the last thing you want to do is take care of yourself? Create a kit of your own with these tips!

But seriously though, selfcare is really important. In fact I’ve written a VERY long post about this before. You can read that here. It includes a free download to go with it!

What self-care is not:

  • Selfish – you can’t pour from an empty cup and need to look after yourself before you can look after others
  • Self-absorbed – those who say people who look after themselves self-absorbed don’t understand the importance of selfcare
  • Unnecessary – point above applies here, too

What self-care does mean:

  • You’re acknowledging there is a problem and are using this as a way of dealing with it, before things get worse
  • You’re avoiding burnout
  • Looking after your body and mind at the same time (a holistic approach, if you will)
  • Taking some much needed alone time
  • Taking a well-deserbed break
  • Getting a bit of peace and quiet

So now you understand why it’s important to practise self-care, let’s look at getting a box and where you can store in it.

What do you do when things get tough? Where do you turn when the last thing you want to do is take care of yourself? Create a kit of your own with these tips!

First things first, you need somewhere/something to store your items in. If you don’t want an actual box of sorts, a corner or area to keep your items will do. Maybe you could dedicate a drawer to your items instead? It’s private but easily accessible at home.

But, if you feel like having a box of some kind, then there are lots of choices online/in the shops. If you’re from the UK, Wilkinson’s and Asda have lots of storage boxes in different shapes and sizes to suit your needs.

Once you’ve got your box sorted out, how do you decide what goes in it?

This part is completely up to you now. Only you can decide what to put in it. After all, this is your box and no-one else’s. In fact no-one even has to know about it. It really is all for you.

Sill not sure what to put in it? Here are some ideas for you:

  • A soft toy
  • A cute stress ball
  • A colouring book
  • A notepad/journal and pens
  • Moisturiser to pamper yourself a bit
  • Body scrubs
  • Bubble bath stuff
  • A nice comfy blanket
  • Your favourite cushion
  • Tea diffusers
  • Herbal teas to go with your diffuser
  • Manicure/pedicure items for pampering yourself
  • Oil diffusers and some essential oils
  • Multivitamins
  • Face masks/eye masks
  • A good book
  • Notes of gratitude (you’ll need to write these yourself!)
  • Affirmations that you find particularly helpful
  • Breathing exercises you’ve made a note of and that work for you

The list could go on but I thought I should stop there! But, essentially, you’re creating a box where you feel comfort when you may need it most. It’s a break from reality for a few minutes/for as long as you need. They are great.

What do you do when things get tough? Where do you turn when the last thing you want to do is take care of yourself? Create a kit of your own with these tips!

On that note, my new little online store on a small space on the internet is now open! If you sign up (follow the link below to sign up), you’ll get a 10% discount off your first purchase! Did I mention FREE worldwide shipping for all, forever?!!!

Just click the image below to go there now:

wellbeing, anxiety, self-care, self-love, wellness, mental health

How can you practise self care other than having your own kit?

self-care boxes work for some but not for others. As you may well know, what works for you may not work for me or others. It’s important to figure out what really helps you when it comes to calming down/looking after yourself.

So, if a self-care box doesn’t work for you, here are some more ideas to consider:

  • Go for a walk on your own, in nature
  • Try meditation
  • Try grounding techniques to help keep you in the present#
  • Get your hair done at a salon
  • Get a manicure/pedicure
  • Take up a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try
  • Write in a journal and express your feelings on paper
  • Start a blog for your own personal enjoyment
  • Buy yourself a bottle of wine
  • Heck, by yourself some chocolate/snack of choice
  • Go to a coffee shop and enjoy some cake and/or coffee
  • Dance to some music
  • Make yourself some healthy smoothies
  • Get a pet (if you are able to look after it properly and be responsible – something I question myself on daily!)
  • Pet your cat/dog if you already have one
  • Go to an art gallery/museum

And so on. As you can see, whatever you decide to do, it’s all for you. It’s not being selfish or being a loner. It’s about doing what you want to do and not worrying about anyone else at the same time.

The thing is, if you don’t take care of yourself, you probably are in no position to help others. For me, that’s major. I put myself last pretty much all the time but I’ve realised its not good or healthy.

What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments below, or in Insta – click below now:

Image result for instagram logo

**EXCLUSIVE** Panic at the Anxiety Disco Number Seven

Anxiety tips, videos, images and fun

Well, we’re on week 7 of this ongoing series! I have a treat for you today (although you might already be aware haha), an exclusive, if you will!

So, I’ve been quite pre-occupied recently with general day to day life, as well as exhaustion and a stomach bug. But whilst I’ve been laid up in bed, I had the best Idea ever. If you’re part of my mailing list you may already know what I’m about to say, but here is a little background for those that aren’t.

This blog is dedicated to helping you live your best live possible, no matter your mental or physical health. But, I realised I was being a massive hypocrite and not even following my own advice. I don’t like that feeling at all, although I have bad days, too. I suffer from lack of confidence and low self-esteem just like you do.

But then something twigged in me. I decided that I wouldn’t keep putting myself off and do something that has always been in the back of my mind.

I’m talking owing my own little space on the internet to sell wellbeing and anxiety-helping wares. And as of last night, my little shop has been born! Although we’re not live yet, it’s starting to feel VERY real – it’s Instagram page has nearly 70 followers at the time of writing this, and I only created it yesterday!!

So today, as part of this usual edition of Panic at the Anxiety Disco, I want to share something of mine, that I’m sure you will love!

Launch day is the 28th November 2017.

It’s a budget-friendly, open and honest shop with shining customer service (those are our shop principles). Items start from as little as £2.50.

You can sign up to exclusive discounts, updates, the inside scoop and more, just by clicking the link below:


I’ll updating you guys as things happen but this is the best way to stay in touch. You can see a sneak preview as to what sort of products you can expect to see on this page, too.

If you prefer, you can also follow along on Instagram where I’m showcasing some of the amazing products due to land on the 28th November. Oh and did I mention that there is FREE world-wide shopping for all, FOREVER??

So thank you for taking the time to read this today. I’ll be writing a blog post as normal for Friday, and working towards making the shoppe perfect for you.

Last but not least:

wellbeing, anxiety and mental health shop for your everyday needsLots of love from Jess x x

6 Very Good Reasons Why Biscuits Are Great For Your Mental Health

Biscuits are good for your mental health. That is all. But seriously, here are six reasons why you should probably eat more of them!

Today we have 664 words which explain to you why biscuits are good for your mental health.

Biscuits are good for your mental health. That is all. But seriously, here are six reasons why you should probably eat more of them!

We all love biscuits. Do you know anyone who doesn’t?! I don’t. Whether it’s a midnight snack, a staple with your cup of tea, or just something that makes you happy, biscuits are great. They fill the void when all you need is a bit of comforting.

Not only this, but there are tonnes of different brands, tastes and shapes to choose from. No matter what mood you’re in, biscuits are there for you!

So, in celebration of our favourite dunking snack, here are 6 of the best reasons why biscuits are good for us. I’m not just talking about your physical health either. Biscuits are amazing for your mental health too!

**please be warned. This is tongue in cheek, and should only be taken with a pinch of sugar (haha).**

They make you happy

There’s no denying that fact that biscuits make you happy. The great thing about biscuits is that depending on how bad you’re feeling, you can regulate your biscuit dose accordingly.

Been dumped? 10 biscuits for that. Had a bad day at work, why not keep it to 5?

Whatever situation you find yourself in, biscuits are right there with you to cheer you up. Your mental health can thank me later.

Biscuits are good for your mental health. That is all. But seriously, here are six reasons why you should probably eat more of them!

Biscuits bring people together

Personal experience of mine has shown that biscuits actually bring people together. As mentioned above, our crunchy friends make people happy. What better way to bring people together than by making everyone happy at once?

Sharing some biscuits means that people have to get out of their seat and approach you if they want one. This promotes chatter (only in moderation whilst you’re at work though, mind) as well as a minute amount of exercise, too.

The result of this? Better relationships at work improve, and you may make new friends because of it.

They give you a warm fuzzy feeling

Now that the nights are drawing in and it’s getting colder, biscuits help provide you with that warm fuzzy feeling. Instead of wrapping yourself up in a blanket, fill yourself up with biscuits instead!

You’ll no doubt feel all warm and fuzzy instead, much like the way chocolate does. Hey, that can’t be a bad thing, surely?

Biscuits provide much needed energy (via sugar)

My dad always used to tell me that I should always keep biscuits with me, in case my blood sugar levels dropped. Being prone to fainting, this is something I always remember. The last thing I want to do is pass out everywhere – it is most inconvenient.

Although carrying biscuits around might be impractical, keep them in a safe place at work or at home instead. This helps to give you temporary energy when you’re feeling lethargic. On the flip side, try to eat in moderation too.

After all, a health mind needs energy, too.

You feel empowered after eating biscuits

Speaking to a colleague about how biscuits make you feel, Dianne said she felt “revived and empowered”, just from eating biscuits. Now that is the kind of transformation I can get behind!

I don’t know about you, but I feel empowered after eating biscuits. I feel like I could just take over the world once I’ve nibbled on a few Digestives. Maybe it’s just the sugar content inside them, but I love ‘em.

You become a better person overall after eating biscuits

The final, but no least important, point for today is that once you’ve eaten biscuits, you become an overall better person. You are essentially levelling up your character to level 20!

“Why?” you may be thinking? Well, consider this.

You forget your worries which means you don’t take out your issues on those around you. Your energy levels improve, meaning less grumpiness all round. You meet new people and build up relationships. Need I go on?

“Basically, biscuits rock!” Said my colleague Nikki today. That, my friend, is what it boils down to.

Share if you agree!


Panic at the Anxiety Disco Number Six

Anxiety tips, videos, images and fun

Welcome to another edition of Panic at the Anxiety Disco. Can you believe we’re at week 6 already? I definitely can’t!

If you missed last week’s edition, you can read it here.

If you missed my recent YouTube video (an edited version of a Facebook Live I did recently on anxiety), you can also check that out here. I had a special guest with me which you need to check out!

Anyway. On to today’s fresh media hot off the press for you.

The image below left me feeling inspired and wanting to share it with you today. See, we oftentimes forget about ourselves when it comes to coping with life. Have you heard of the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”?

The same applies here. How can you love anyone else if you can’t love yourself? Although I appreciate that this might not apply to everyone right now – I do think it’s worth remembering.

THE best media to help inspire you. Whether its video/images/other types of media, there will be something to inspire you. Enjoy!My honest opinion on this is that you deserve self-respect. The last thing I’d want you to be a victim of is someone taking advantage of that. So if there’s anything you take away from this today, it’s this:


Don’t ever feel like you’re not, because you are. You were placed on this planet in this crazy world of ours for a reason. Don’t let it go to waste. Keeping fighting, day by day. Even if all you do is get out of bed in the morning – that’s totally okay too.

On a side note with this, here are some related blog posts you might enjoy:

How To Get Yourself Out Of an Anxiety Funk

How To Be Happy Despite Your Anxiety

6 Tips To Getting Rid Of Poor Self Worth

That’s it from me today. This Friday I have a special post on the making for you (completely satire/irony, but totally worth the laugh).

Speak to you Friday!

Love from Jess x x

[VLOG] Anxiety Question and Answer With a Special Guest!

Vlog feature where we helped raise money for local charities and projects across the East Midlands. Enjoy!

Hello hello!

Today I have a special video to show you. It’s taken quite some time to produce but it was well worth it!

As I know many of you like YouTube//video, this is an edited version of a Facebook Live I did recently. This time though we have a special guest! As it happens, my special guest is also called Jess. We’ll call her Jess DS for now!

If you’re in a rush and can’t watch the whole video, this is what we cover:

  • Do you go down the medication or natural route?
  • What helps us cope with our anxiety
  • General chit chat along the way!
Don’t want to miss the live versions?
You have two options as I tend to do live videos in both areas:

Join the private Facebook community I run:

Anxiety support group for mental health advice

Like the Facebook Page:





There we go.

Now, enjoy the video!