Hello, everyone! Sorry for being out of action for a while but works been keeping me busy and I’ve been shattered! I’ve started my new job now so I’m hoping that’ll help me keep things simple and work on looking after myself for a bit more.
Even though I’ve not been on here recently, I do post regularly on Instagram. If you’re on there too I’d be nice to see you! Click here to follow along. I post mostly random musings and pretty objects/scenes I find along the way which you might like.
On another note, I’ve been having some weird dreams recently.
When I say weird, I mean dreams where I’m crying in my dream and I wake up crying for real. I don’t know about you but my anxiety tends so make me have vivid dreams that feel so real. Like you hurt from the betrayal and heightened emotions you feel when you wake up.
On the outside looking in, I’d think, “She is one crazy mofo”. But I can’t take that stance because those dreams are so close to home that they become impossible to ignore.
This leads me onto the reason for today’s post.
I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting on myself recently, in the hope of improving myself. It’s so easy to focus on the negative parts of ourselves and forget all of our good qualities.
Oh how this is me!
I’ve realised that I keep putting myself down. I keep giving myself a hard time over issues I have no control over. And I’ve realised that I don’t give myself enough credit for all of the good jobs/help/support I provide.
Sound familiar? Here are some of the ways I combat the issues above. Hopefully, you find this useful:
You keep putting yourself down
This is a tough one. The act of putting ourselves down is something that we’ve most likely learned from a young age. It’s a bad habit that can be pretty hard to shake, and one you may never really conquer.
But, it’s something you can work on using simple techniques that I’ve learned along the way. For example, remembering that you are you. That you can try to be something/someone else but ultimately this won’t work.
Basically anxiety creates unhealthy coping mechanisms
Write down what you like about yourself/what you’re good at. If you struggle with what you’re good at, think about the compliments you’ve received at work/outside of work. How about your skills? What do you enjoy doing?
All of this will help you towards focusing on your good qualities, and less on what you consider are bad qualities. The more you do it, the easier it’ll get. Honestly, it’s not going to be a quick process and remember this. Working on yourself isn’t going to a quick win so don’t be too hard on yourself.
This leads me nicely onto the next point!
You give yourself a hard time over issues you have no control over
Oh, man am I the worst for this! Anxiety makes you question everything. It makes you prepare for the worst situation (even if it’s 99.9% unlikely to happen). You consider that you’ve learned from a bad experience, but take that to extremes and it becomes unhealthy.
Basically, anxiety creates unhealthy coping mechanisms.
So, worrying about things that are out of your control is a natural behaviourism for an anxiety sufferer, and is again hard to break. But nothing is impossible and you can break down these walls you have.
First, I would highly recommend reading up on anxiety. The more you know about what it is and how it affects you, the better. That’ll help you figure out techniques to combat them.
Working on yourself isn’t going to a quick win so don’t be too hard on yourself
For example, when you give yourself a hard time over things you do wrong, ask yourself whether you have control over it. When you first start out it might seem impossible, but here are some examples:
– If you’re late to work/a meeting/an appointment and you’re stressing over it, think about why you were late. If the traffic was bad and you left with plenty of time then this is going to be a one-off. If you’re late you’re late. You must move on mentally and forget about it.
– You think you’ve upset someone following a conversation with them. I do this a whole bunch. But if you think about it, when has your worry ever actually been the case? I’m guessing not that often. We (anxiety sufferers) tend to think the worst at every situation possible (read more on this here), people or not.
Therefore, do try to push out those thoughts from your brain. It’s going to be hard, don’t get me wrong. You’re trying to push thoughts from your mind that you’re probably very used to.
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A technique I use is to write down my thoughts, especially those that are negative. Once I’ve written them down, I screw up the piece of paper and throw it in the bin.
This is a really good physical way of getting rid of those thoughts and experiencing closure with them. I always feel calmer and freer once I’ve done it. You should definitely give it a go!
Well, that’s it from me today. Thanks again for tuning in, I’d love to hear your comments! Just quickly fill out your details below and let me know what you think.
Jess x x