Modern Day Girl

All About Mental Health Inspiration For Women

Month: April 2016

What to Do if You Feel a Panic Attack Coming On

How to deal with a panic attack before, during and after

By the way, my new eBook, “A Step by Step Actionable Guide to Reaching Your Dreams” is out now! It’s for women who want the best from their life but need a push/bit of guidance. It’s action-packed, non-fluffy and full of content. Click here to read/buy now. I’ll happy wait for you to come back 🙂

This is a topic very close to my heart (if you didn’t know already). How do you deal with a panic attack coming on? I am going to give you useful tips to help you deal with them.

I had a panic attack yesterday morning. Isn’t it funny? I’m writing about how to help you deal with your anxiety, but not being able to cope myself. I should really take notice of my own advice! 

But then you’ll know that panic attacks are random, unexpected occurrences which start as quickly as they go away. Very annoying indeed! You can’t predict them and can be fine prior to it.

I thought I’d put together a post for you on how to deal with a panic attack before, during and after it. The more you know about it now, the better it’ll be for you when it happens.

So what exactly is a panic attack?

The NHS explains that a panic attack usually encompasses the below:

What feels like an irregular or racing heartbeat (palpitations)



Shortness of breath (hyperventilation)

A choking sensation



Tingling fingers

Ringing in your ears

You can feel unwell and some have described it felt like you are going to die. Panic attacks usually last somewhere from 5 to 20 minutes, but can feel like a lifetime.

Honestly, I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy. It’s also a very exhausting experience!

The other problem with panic attacks is that you can have them even if you don’t know you suffer from anxiety. They can be random occurrences which make them unpredictable. You can also not suffer from a mental health condition and still get them.

You are who I am writing this for now.

How do you deal with a panic attack? Here are some tips to try

There are a few ways of dealing with your panic attack before it happens.


Accept that you are about to have one.

The problem with panic attacks is that you can never really expect them. They don’t happen when you want them to and you don’t want it anyway. They are inconvenient and can really set you back.

By acknowledging that you are about to have one is key to this. Trying to prevent it from happening can oftentimes make it worse. The problem with panic attacks is that it is a physical thing and not ‘just in your head’. You can’t ignore it and you certainly can’t make it go away.

The best thing to do is to tell yourself you are having one. Don’t bother denying it or it’ll make things worse. You are now accepting that this is going to happen. It should relax you a bit knowing this, although I know it is far from relaxing!

Thinking about having a panic attack will make it worse and won’t help. Do try this step.

Know that you won’t be physically harmed by the process.

Although the feelings you know are going to happen are frightening and quite honestly horrible, you won’t cause yourself harm. This is a natural response to stressful situations that we would normally come across as hunter-gatherers. We no longer need this but the ‘beast mode’ is still within us.

Having a panic attack won't do you any harm. Don't worry about this when you find yourself having a panic attack

You are not going to die. Remember this too when you can feel it coming on.

Remind the panic attack that you are the boss.

You need to remember that this is happening for a reason and accept it. Remind it who is the boss. Taking control of your panic attack is a fantastic thing to do.

So if you find that your panic attack comes on in certain situations, for example, whilst driving, you must continue to do such things. By avoiding driving, for example, you are giving into this and using your flight mode. I know how easy it is to do this but you are strong.

You can do this. Honestly – I am a blubbering mess before, during and after a panic attack. If I can do it, so can you!

Don’t just do it the once after, keep doing it too. If you suffer from social anxiety or agoraphobia, this will make things harder for you. But it’s all about baby steps.

Reward yourself after each step as well. You are giving yourself pleasure from overcoming that difficult situation.

Turn your thoughts around and know you can control your anxiety. Almost like a superpower!

Think of it as ‘beast mode’ rather than a panic attack

Honestly, I have just made this up. But thinking about this situation as merely beast mode really helps me! It’s like you become this strong super aware being. Almost like a superpower.

This reference isn’t in any way to belittle a panic attack at all. But I want you to try and think of it like this because you can control it. Superman controls his emotions, why not you? Give yourself that psychological power and control that you had only minutes ago before it started.

Related posts:

5 No-Fail Ways to Distract Yourself Out Of a Panic Attack + FREE Printable

7 Ways To Deal With Anxiety Day-To-Day

3 Tips On CBT and How It Helps You With Your Anxiety + FREEBIE

Struggling? How To Have a More Positive Outlook on Life + FREE Workbook


Get your breathing in gear

Now this is going to be a tough one for you as breathing can make up a large part of panic attacks. This is called hyperventilation.

You may find yourself breathing quickly and taking short breaths. This is because your body is preparing for fight or flight. You need to slow this breathing down. Remember again that you aren’t going to hurt yourself by breathing like this but it is key to getting your panic attack under control.

Try some breathing exercises. There are lots of ways to get your breathing under control. They will help you feel calmer, and give you something else to concentrate on.

Here are a few techniques to try:

Count the number of seconds breathing in and out. Ideally breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do the following pattern of breathing:

Breathe in for 5 seconds

Hold your breath for 5 seconds

Breathe out for 5 seconds

Do this as much and as long as possible. Now I know this is going to be very difficult whilst in the midst of a panic attack. It will get easier the more you do it, though.

You should find yourself breathing better. This will help during a panic attack. Make sure you keep focusing on your breathing until it is completely gone.

Learn how to deal with your breathing as a way of dealing with your panic attack

Focus on something

Again this is something going to be difficult during a panic attack. But taking your mind of what is going on with your body is a great way of getting out of it.

If you can, put the TV.  You have to consciously try to do it. Don’t give up because you can. Once you’ve been able to put it on, focus on it. Concentration is key by the way. Without this, it won’t work.

Distractions can really help whilst having a panic attack. Other things you could try is looking out of a window and seeing what is going on outside. Or you could stand outside the back or front door. 

Honestly, these tricks can really help during a panic attack. Give them a go!

After a panic attack

I did a bit of research as part of this post and found nothing about what to do after a panic attack. I think this is still an important step in overcoming your ‘beast mode’!

After the panic has subsided it’s important to remember that you got over it. You did it!

Now think about how or what may have caused it for you. Was it a situation or a place? The reasons why I’m asking you to do this is because we have to face these things. as I mentioned above you need to accept it and process it to move forward.

It’s now also time to relax. You will most likely feel physically and mentally exhausted. You need to make sure you eat something and drink plenty of water. I know this might also be difficult at this stage but do it.

Write about it (if you want). If you find writing about your feelings useful this could be a good step for you. It’s a good way of processing what has just happened and get your feelings down on paper. 

Finally, seek advice from your doctor. I’m no doctor and definitely can’t advise in medical situations. If you find that the feeling of panic doesn’t go away it might be best to speak to your doctor about it. Also, if you’re having them often I would also suggest speaking to your doctor.

But, saying that – I am here if you feel like you need someone to talk to. Someone who is neutral and won’t judge you. You’re welcome to email me at

I hope you found this useful if you have any friends or family who suffers from panic attacks it might be good to show them this too! 

How do you deal with panic attacks? Do you support anyone else with their own panic attacks? I’d love to hear from you.

P.S. Do you want to feel less overwhelmed?

Why not try out my FREE eCourse now? It’s for those who feel out of control and want a helping hand. Plus, get your FREE worksheets to guide you along the way!

 What do you do to keep calm? Let me know in the comments now!

This Lil Mind of Mine – A Series on Mental Health – Jessie’s Story

Lets talk about mental health. the best advice, tips and tricks.

This is a new post of the series This Lil Mind of Mine. It’s going to be in a slightly different format than the rest but I felt it necessary to keep as much detail as possible. I have edited is slightly with the writer’s permission.

Meet Jessie.


Jessie can usually be found at her blog Paper Coffee Store. Go and show it some love!

The post is long but please do spend the time reading it. Jessie has a way with words – she’s a fantastic writer and her story deserves to be heard.

I have never been diagnosed with anxiety disorder or any other disorder, but I’m 99% sure I suffer either from the bipolar disorder of the first type or the seasonal affective disorder. They come with anxiety attacks and depression. Mostly during November and December, but at times, they happen in the middle of the year.

Tell me a little about yourself (and your blog if applicable)! As much or as little as you want

I am a 20 year-old girl who daydreams a lot, loves coffee and tea too much and still believes in magic. I absolutely love writing, it has been my number one passion for years along with reading. In my head there are never too many books, just too few bookshelves. I also adore learning foreign languages. Probably nothing has changed me as much as having learnt English. I’ve made lots of friends and explored variety of amazing concepts and ideas thanks to it.

Continue reading “This Lil Mind of Mine – A Series on Mental Health – Jessie’s Story” »

How I Stay Crazily Organised in Our Hectic World!

I share the best tools and tips for staying organised!

One of my new blogger friends Leila (click here to visit her site) asked me on her interview how I stay so organised. It got me thinking. I’ve not covered something about being organised for quite some time so I thought now would be the time when I would!

Plus I’ve already talked about how being organised can help your anxiety. Having structure and a plan works wonders for me and it might do for you.

I didn’t consider myself as organised until people started to tell me. In fact I don’t think it was in a positive way either! I like having things to do. I like knowing how I’m going to do it and get slightly agitated when it doesn’t go to plan.

This is why I have to be organised! I’m not an impulse kind of person really. Plus I love seeing a planner full of things I have to do. It’s so satisfying! You’re probably thinking, “Oh my god this lady is crazy!”. Hopefully there is someone out there that can relate!

I wanted to show you how easy it can be to get organised. These are my own ways of being organised, there is plenty more though.

Grab yourself a planner.

I cannot rave about planners enough. I even wrote a post on how to to get the most out of your life using one!

But honestly a planner is the way forward for when you know you need to get organised. This is how I stay calm and ready for anything! I can have mini meltdowns at the thought of losing my planner.

Not only is it great for keeping track of your weddings, birthdays and social events, you can keep your lists and goals in here too. You can see what I do below. I have a trusty pack of highlighters and pens to hand so I can scribble and write all over it.

How to stay organised in this crazy world we live in

How to stay organised in this crazy world we live in

My Calendar (phone) which I can’t live without.

Although I have my paper planner, sometimes I need to make a note of something quickly. This is why I use Google Calendar. I keep birthdays in there as well as in my planner. You can never be too careful!

How to stay organised in this crazy world we live in

I keep both things handy, especially if I can’t just whip the paper planner out easily. I check them both daily, weekly and monthly. You can never be too organised I reckon! Plus, I have both my tablet and phone calendar synced in so when I update on the go it goes onto my tablet!

Technology is a wonderful thing isn’t it?!

My to do lists. I love lists!

So much so I wrote a post on why to-do lists are great! I know it’s sad but I do love them. I keep shopping lists (food and other items), things I have to do daily weekly and monthly, and work stuff. They all have a special place somewhere, but I keep work stuff separate.

How to stay organised in this crazy world we live in

It really helps me stay organised. How else are we expected to remember everything?!


This is for my b log only. I need something to store any ideas I come up with for the blog. I’m talking blog post ideas, giveaway ideas and sometimes whole posts. It’s great for somewhere to keep everything and it’s a lot more customisable than just the usual word pads you get on your phone.

I have it on my laptop too and you can view all your notes on any devices you have. If you’re a blogger – I would definitely recommend it! You can visit the website here:

Baskets and tubs. They keep me sane

This is for the tangible items I have in life. There’s nothing better than chucking things in baskets when you can’t be bothered to tidy!

But seriously though. They are cheap, fit anywhere and can be used for literally anything. I keep baskets in the bathroom currently for all the cleaning products I have there. I also keep junk in another! They look classy and can suit any decor. If you’re in the UK I’d recommend Wilkos and Ikea for your baskets. I could spend hours in those shops!

You could even label them of you wanted as well. This is something I’m currently working on. Plus you can never have too many baskets. I’m sure my mum would agree with that! I walk away with something useful every time we go to her house!

You can visit those two websites below:

Goals. I’m always looking to the future

I really believe that as human beings we need hope. We need dreams. Goals are the way I strive for better. Whether it’s learning a new skill for the blog, the running I’ve decided to take up, or my 9-5 job related. Now I know some are happy with what they have. But right now I’m excited for the future and am working towards my goals.

If you wanted to read more on goals – have a read of my post about them. Plus, even if you suffer from a mental illness and feel that it’s holding you back – don’t. Have a read about it on my recent post about realising your dreams and not letting your mental health get in the way.

I stay realistic.

I think this is the most important aspect of being organised in this crazy world we live in. You may have all the tools you need but it’s no good if you take on too much.

Considering the time a task takes is important. Also considering whether you already have enough on your plate is important. I don’t take on stuff when I know I don’t have time. So you aren’y allowed to either. Make sure you remember this. 🙂

If you want more information, I’ve included some more posts for you to check out!

For the visual types: 18 more inspirational ideas for the organised-obsessed

some inspiration to get you started with baskets

The Reasons Why Being Organised Beats Anxiety

learn how being organised can help your anxiety

How To Get Your Cleaning Organised Like a Boss

Get organised with your cleaning. contains the best tips and tricks around. How to.

This Is Why 2016 Will Be The Year of No Procrastination

I give you some top tips on beating procrastination

How To Organise Like a Pro On The Cheap

How to organise like a pro on a budget. the best how to guide with tips and tricks

Organising Series Round Up – all the best tips and tricks!

Lets get you organised. View this roundup post for the best place to organise

So there you go! How do you get organised? What do you use to stay calm and organised in the hectic world we live in?

Why Anxiety Made Me Realise My Dreams and So Can You + Free Printable!

Anxiety has helped me realise my dreams and so can you. free printable!

As I’ve mentioned in past posts, anxiety can be so negative. The thoughts of others, how you perceive yourself and what the media tells you. But I’m still here.

Blogging away about something I’ve become a bit of an expert about, with multiple things going off. If I saw myself doing this a year ago, I wouldn’t have believed it.

It’s over the past year that things have really changed for me. It’s because of my Anxiety. I’m coming out of the back-end of a hell of a year and things are really looking up now.

This time last year I definitely wouldn’t be saying this either. But it’s the first time in my life I’ve felt settled. No moving in or out. No one moving in or out. Stable.

It’s now I’ve started to concentrate on myself and Lee. We both deserve to and haven’t been for a long time. We both have things coming, things to look forward to now.

We are both caring people and would rather see others happy than ourselves.

More importantly, though, I’m focusing on myself more, something alien to me up to until recently.

You know what? I’ve been more successful because of my Anxiety. I’m happier than I’ve ever been because of it. I always say that anxiety doesn’t define me.

It doesn’t. But it’s given me strength and confidence when it was at its lowest. I see people for who they are now, and focus on myself more.

“Fearlessness is like a muscle. I know from my own life that the more I exercise it the more natural it becomes to not let my fears run me.” –Arianna Huffington

Now that I know the reasons for my behaviour, you know what I’m talking about, I have figured myself out a bit more. I’m more open, free and know who I am. For this reason, I am gaining confidence, knowledge and clarity.

Some might say this is something that comes with age. I’m old enough now to agree with that statement (begrudgingly I might add). I don’t particularly like that phrase but it’s true.

But at the same time, I wouldn’t be who I am today because of the past. Not everyone walks the same path as you and that is why it makes me who I am, and makes you who you are.

If I can realise my dreams, so can you! It’s a hard long walk ahead of you. But I’m going to help you. Plus, if I can do it, so can you!

So let’s discuss how.

What do you want?

Realising your dreams might be a tough one for you. But you can’t do it without knowing what you want in life. So the first steps to take is to decide what you want to work towards.

If you need any help, I wrote a post on goals here for a few pointers. Download my free printable as a guidance sheet to help you work through it – you can find it at the bottom.

So. Do you want to pay off your mortgage? Create your own business? Get that job you’ve been dreaming about but felt it was out of your limits? Or even pick up a hobby?

Remember to keep it simple and stick to just a few at a time. I know we all want amazing things for ourselves but being too ambitious will lead to disappointment.

Use your mental health issue as a way of reaching your dreams

Why do you want it?

Why do you really want that mortgage? Why do you want to take your business to the next level? Thinking about your dreams helps you to think through it rationally.

It makes it feel more real. There’s no point having these dreams and aspirations in life if you aren’t that bothered about it.

Once you’ve thought about your dreams in life, decide the one you’re 100% committed to. Write is down somewhere if you’re forgetful. Why not even put it in a frame and hang it somewhere?! It’ll feel much more real once you have it down there.

How are you going to do it?

Think about what you need to get there. The steps you need to take to reach your dream. Do you need friends and family to help you?

Maybe you need to network more and find people with similar interests?

Break it down into simple steps to make your life easier. Make your steps tangible as well. There’s no point telling yourself you’re going to make tonnes of money with your business when you don’t know how you are going to do it!

Do some research into how other people do it. Google search some ideas you’ve been throwing around as well. The more you know about how you’re going to get there, the easier it’ll be.

Use your anxiety as a way of reaching your dreams

Use your weakness as a strength!

I wouldn’t even call anxiety a weakness. But it comes with certain traits that you might think are undesirable. For example, you might be a bit of a perfectionist.

You want everything you do to have your 100% attention. Some might say this is a weakness because maybe you can only concentrate on one thing at a time.

But it also means you give everything into your projects. You produce the best you can and this is such a great trait to have!

Turn your negative thoughts into something positive. Anxiety is a negative thing. It’s an illness. But it also makes you, YOU. You’ll have your ups and downs, don’t get me wrong.

But you’ll have ups more importantly and this is where you’ll shine.

Power through

It’s so easy to give up. You might feel like all the work you’re doing isn’t going anywhere when you don’t see immediate results. As a sufferer of anxiety, I like to see results quickly.

But I’ve learnt that it takes time and dedication. You have to work on it and put as much into your dream as possible. The more you put into it, the more you’ll get out of it.

Patience and practice are key to your success.

So when you feel unmotivated or uninterested. Go back to your worksheet or where you’ve written your dreams down. Read through it and remember why you wanted to start focusing on it in the first place.

I think it’s worth mentioning that you will feel like this sometimes. But that’s okay too, you know? You can’t be expected to have high hopes all the time so don’t put yourself down when you feel like this.

It’s completely natural and a human response to a situation.

Use your anxiety as a start for your dream becoming true.

Grab the bull by the horns

Sorry for the cheesy line there! But I love this phrase. I’m not saying go tackle a bull, though. But imagine your dream is sitting there waiting for you to tackle it (metaphorically speaking).

It’s so easy thinking about what you’re going to do but it’s a whole other thing going out and doing it.

Free printable!

So, as promised, here is your printable! Just pop your details in below:

How do you deal with your dreams and mental health?

This Lil Mind of Mine – A Series on Mental Health – Mandi’s story

Lets talk about mental health. advice and the best tips to dealing with anxiety.

Welcome to another blogger sharing their experiences on mental health. Meet Mandi.

Mandi Pimental is an avid traveler, professional journalist and certified nutritionist in love with life’s adventures. A creator of gluten-free, dairy-free and Paleo recipes, she also travels the globe with her husband seeking the best in healthy eats & soul refreshing destinations.


Social Media: @NoshandNurture on FB, Twitter, Insta and Pinterest

Continue reading “This Lil Mind of Mine – A Series on Mental Health – Mandi’s story” »